Saturday, April 13, 2013

Thinking of Her Leaving

Lectio

So when they had come together, they were asking Him, saying, “Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom to Israel?” 7 He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; 8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”

The Ascension

9 And after He had said these things, He was lifted up while they were looking on, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. 10 And as they were gazing intently into [h]the sky while He was going, behold, two men in white clothing stood beside them. 11 They also said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into [i]the sky? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in just the same way as you have watched Him go into heaven.”

Meditatio

The countdown is happening.  We will go to La Casa in 4 weeks and one day to pick up Amy.  I want her to come back, of course.  I also hate the idea of taking her away from those children!  I cry--right now--why?  Partly in sympathy for what I am pretty sure Amy will feel, and partly in sympathy for what I am also pretty sure the ninos will feel.  Is there something that we can say, perhaps a teaching or a "word from [You,] Lord," that will give them comfort?

Oratio

God of the orphans, please tell me if there is something that You want us to share with the ninos when Amy leaves.  Amy will likely be useless as an interpreter; so, if You do have a message, You will lead us to someone who can translate/interpret OR maybe make it simple enough so that I can learn Spanish in one short month?  :)  Seriously, though, please do whatever You do so well to make this event not a bad one, though it may be inevitably sad, but rather a powerfully blessed one.  I also want to bless the children somehow.  Show me how, please.

Contemplatio

Well, contemplation on this topic won't be hard.  I have already been thinking about it a great deal.  Thank You, God, for ... what? ... being my partner in this, for listening to me, for being the leader in this matter!



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

All Have Sinned


Lectio

"What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written,

There is none righteous, not even one;
 There is none who understands,
There is none who seeks for God;
 All have turned aside, together they have become useless;
There is none who does good,
There is not even one.”   (Romans 3:9-12)

 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)


Meditatio

Oh, boy.  This Scripture is being impressed heavily on my heart.  Not only do I see sin rampant all over the world, but I see it permeating and tainting my own heart.  It feels so helpless.  In the spirit of "radical acceptance," I want to be calm as I encounter such sinfulness.  It is, after all, inevitable.  On the other hand, in the spirit of pursuit of holiness (wasn't that a book title??), I want to strive.  Stop.  No more striving!  More correctly, I want to be holy, less sinful--ever less sinful--do I want to be what I cannot be?  If "there is none who seeks for God," can I ever become one who seeks for God?


Oratio

God of all creation, God of our fathers, God of the universe, I know--painfully so!--that I have sinned.  I walk in it, wade in it, breathe it in.  And I hate it.  Even now, my mind is being distracted by the things I have to do in a short hour before I go to work, and I would so much rather stay here and be with You.  Even the book I am slowing getting through, Erasing Hell, is helping me this Lent to appreciate more deeply just what You have freed me from. (Bad grammar, I know--let me get away with this one?)

When I encounter sin in others, I don't really handle it well.  I know that, in a way, they cannot help it any more than I can.  Yet it is still stinking, ugly, repulsive sin.  It hurts sometimes, too.  What did You do?  How repugnant we might have been to You, and yet Your love for us -- what? -- shielded Your holiness from the contamination of our sin!  May Your love for me and in me help me to love others, even in their sin, and as You did for me, inspire me to be ever more holy.  In Jesus's name and in the power of the Holy Spirit, which is the only way I could ever hope to do these things~~Amen!


Contemplatio

Keep this thought on my heart today and in the days to come.  Memorize these verses!!











Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Lectio Divina 6: Tuesday

On my heart: Paul, the "ateo," and Francis Chan's book, Erasing Hell.  Frightening combination!

Lectio Divina 5: Monday

Another day with my mother.  Also a sweet interaction with two of my great-nephews, Joey and Toby, and some Bible storytelling.

Lectio Divina 4: Sunday

"Gordon College is so liberal."

I think there is a verse in James about the tongue.  I will have to look it up.

Lectio Divina 3: Saturday

TBD--Day with my mother and my husband.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Lectio Divina 2

Friday, February 15

Weird interaction with Stephen (my supervisor and a new person to WRCH) and Lisa (a social worker who transferred in from Taunton)~

Briefly, let it be known that Lisa has had some trouble adjusting to WRCH.  She is a mother of two children, ages 11 and 8, and she drives a very long distance to come to work three days a week from 10:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.  She does not have it easy.

She is also a harsh woman.  She behaved very disrespectfully to our new deaf social worker, and the other young social worker whom I supervise was outraged.  (Side note: I had witnessed similar disrespect from our department head toward Gloria, and I was outraged at that.  More on that another time....)

Stephen tried to arbitrate the awkwardness between Lisa and me.  Lisa had publicly commented on my maternal character (which is, of course, true) in reference to an attempted communication I was sharing with her from one of her patients.  I won't go into detail now, although I may want to record this interaction at some point.  In short, she refused to allow me to share the patient's message by commenting on my character.

I did not handle this as well as I handled the situation yesterday with Tony.  I need to reflect on what that means in terms of the Lectio Divina model.  What do I need to read/hear? (Lectio)  On what do I need to meditate? (Meditatio)  For sure, I need to pray from the heart about this!!  (Oratio)  And lastly, contemplate mindfully about God's work in my heart, soul, and life. (Contemplatio)

If the world hates you, [a]you know that it has hated Me before it hated you." John 15:18
 
 Lord, it is almost an idolatrous goal that we make ourselves likable.  I'm not sure how this works in my Christian life, but this lesson was an unpleasant taste of being misunderstood, judged, and disliked.  And once again, I didn't handle it well.  I will -- no, I cannot say that I will because I can't -- I will submit myself to Your changing me.  That I can, and will, do.  In Jesus's name and by the work of the Holy Spirit~Amen.

Lectio Divina 1

Thursday, February 14: St. Valentine's Day

Interesting development after I decided to take Tony's verbal challenge in silence and submission: We "accidentally" met up in one of the stairwells, and he engaged me in a conversation about a different patient.  (The second patient calls numerous people and leaves long, rambling complaints.  He has called me more than once.  This time he called Tony to complain about me.)

It took a few minutes, but I realized that Tony would never officially apologize to me and that this conversation was his apology.  When this dawned on me, I said to him (approximately, since I don't recall verbatim), "Tony, though we have had animated disagreements, I really like working with you."  To my surprise, he said, "I do, too.  And I encourage and respect thoughtful dissent on my team."  Just what I thought!

So, dear Lord, this is what I "heard" from You on this day.  Isaiah 53:7 captures it:
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
 
You did not have to question Your motives, as I did.  You were, are, and always will be right.  I'm learning!  Even when I am falsely accused, be quietly confident that You know what is happening.  That will lead me to Friday, a somewhat different day.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Lectio Divina Ash Wednesday

'...experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me."  Philippians 1:30

What conflict was that, Lord?  Earlier in this verse, Paul mentions not only believing in Crhrst, but also suffering for His sake.  Was the conflict related in some way to both his belief in You and some suffering for Your sake that he was enduring?

Conducting myself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ is not as easy at WRCH as it would be in a monastery or a convent.  Or maybe that's not true, since humans are everywhere except in our solitude.  :0  Help me, Lord, on this first day of Lent to manage my annoyance and my quick tongue in a manner worthy of the gospel...worthy of You.  I still think I was, and am, right about this clinical issue that I won't remember when I come back to this post someday.  But it doesn't matter in eternity.  What will matter is that I took the verbal abuse (from Tony).  I didn't take it well, mind You.  And in my mind I rehearsed all kinds of witty, cutting comments and put-downs.  I surrender this to You, Lord.  Teach me.

I'm pretty exhausted right now.  It was harder to resist the candy than I thought it would be!  :0

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Lectio Divina minus-1

The Last Supper...prediction of Peter's denial...the Garden of Gethsemane...Jesus's arrest.

Later!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Lectio Divina - Haha!

Funny, Lord!  Here I thought Lent started last Wednesday.  I was trying to catch up with the daily readings/recordings, and instead, I am "ahead."  Love it!

  • Carpenters song
  • Bible lesson on the Bible for Junior Church
  • waiting for today's reading...or maybe I'll wait until Wednesday?
No candy since last Wednesday, either.  Or Candy Crush, the game.  Maybe a good error after all.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Lectio Divina (3): Awakens My ear to listen

Friday: The blizzard of 2013.  Maybe because I was doing the Building Self Esteem group, I was thinking about the other group I help to facilitate, Spirituality and Recovery.  I know I have been pondering next week's topic, which is commitment.  I didn't get a chance to nail down the Scripture, but what I thought about was Jesus's resoluteness in moving toward the cross. 

When the days were approaching for His [ad]ascension, He [ae]was determined to go to Jerusalem.  Luke 9:51
 
 http://www.spurgeongems.org/vols46-48/chs2738.pdf

I won't have time to include all of Charles Spurgeon's points here, but this is a really pertinent sermon about this idea of commitment to His mission.  He takes Isaiah 50:7 as his (Spurgeon's) starting point(but I am including the context from verse 5):
He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple.
5 The Lord God has opened My ear;
And I was not disobedient
Nor did I turn back.
6 I gave My back to those who strike Me,
And My cheeks to those who pluck out the beard;
I did not cover My face from humiliation and spitting.
7 For the Lord God helps Me,
Therefore, I am not disgraced;
Therefore, I have set My face like flint
 
 And now, I need to wrap this entry and go to the church's annual meeting.  Dear Triune God, please help my attitude there.  Things are changing, indeed.  Help me to be part of the change.  In the name of Jesus and the power and counsel of the Holy Spirit~~Amen!






 

Lectio Divina (2)

This was Thursday.  I realize that I probably won't have time to post every day; I am, however, hoping to remember my Lectio Divina readings for each day and try to record them when I do get a chance to sit down here.

Having said that, though, I am sorry to say that I can't remember Thursday's.  :(  I'll try to come back and edit this post if I recall what I was reading and contemplating then.

Lectio Divina (1)

The Temptation of Jesus: I used this today in Junior Church with the 4th graders (a miracle of sorts in itself) because it made an impression on me.  This was my first Bible reading for Lent.  I think I chose it or was led to it, because of the idea of Jesus's fasting.  (I'm "fasting" from Candy Crush and candy for Lent.)

So, the Bible is:
  • food
  • debate clincher
  • Satan repellant
Not a bad summary, if I say so myself!