All Have Sinned

Lectio

"What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written,

“There is none righteous, not even one;
 There is none who understands,
There is none who seeks for God;
 All have turned aside, together they have become useless;
There is none who does good,
There is not even one.”   (Romans 3:9-12)

 ^"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)

Meditatio

Oh, boy.  This Scripture is being impressed heavily on my heart.  Not only do I see sin rampant all over the world, but I see it permeating and tainting my own heart.  It feels so helpless.  In the spirit of "radical acceptance," I want to be calm as I encounter such sinfulness.  It is, after all, inevitable.  On the other hand, in the spirit of pursuit of holiness (wasn't that a book title??), I want to strive.  Stop.  No more striving!  More correctly, I want to be holy, less sinful--ever less sinful--do I want to be what I cannot be?  If "there is none who seeks for God," can I ever become one who seeks for God?

Oratio

God of all creation, God of our fathers, God of the universe, I know--painfully so!--that I have sinned.  I walk in it, wade in it, breathe it in.  And I hate it.  Even now, my mind is being distracted by the things I have to do in a short hour before I go to work, and I would so much rather stay here and be with You.  Even the book I am slowing getting through, Erasing Hell, is helping me this Lent to appreciate more deeply just what You have freed me from. (Bad grammar, I know--let me get away with this one?)

When I encounter sin in others, I don't really handle it well.  I know that, in a way, they cannot help it any more than I can.  Yet it is still stinking, ugly, repulsive sin.  It hurts sometimes, too.  What did You do?  How repugnant we might have been to You, and yet Your love for us -- what? -- shielded Your holiness from the contamination of our sin!  May Your love for me and in me help me to love others, even in their sin, and as You did for me, inspire me to be ever more holy.  In Jesus's name and in the power of the Holy Spirit, which is the only way I could ever hope to do these things~~Amen!

Contemplatio

Keep this thought on my heart today and in the days to come.  Memorize these verses!!

Lectio Divina 6: Tuesday

On my heart: Paul, the "ateo," and Francis Chan's book, Erasing Hell.  Frightening combination!

Lectio Divina 5: Monday

Another day with my mother.  Also a sweet interaction with two of my great-nephews, Joey and Toby, and some Bible storytelling.

Lectio Divina 4: Sunday

"Gordon College is so liberal."

I think there is a verse in James about the tongue.  I will have to look it up.

Lectio Divina 3: Saturday

TBD--Day with my mother and my husband.

Lectio Divina 2

Friday, February 15

Weird interaction with Stephen (my supervisor and a new person to WRCH) and Lisa (a social worker who transferred in from Taunton)~

Briefly, let it be known that Lisa has had some trouble adjusting to WRCH.  She is a mother of two children, ages 11 and 8, and she drives a very long distance to come to work three days a week from 10:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.  She does not have it easy.

She is also a harsh woman.  She behaved very disrespectfully to our new deaf social worker, and the other young social worker whom I supervise was outraged.  (Side note: I had witnessed similar disrespect from our department head toward Gloria, and I was outraged at that.  More on that another time....)

Stephen tried to arbitrate the awkwardness between Lisa and me.  Lisa had publicly commented on my maternal character (which is, of course, true) in reference to an attempted communication I was sharing with her from one of her patients.  I won't go into detail now, although I may want to record this interaction at some point.  In short, she refused to allow me to share the patient's message by commenting on my character.

I did not handle this as well as I handled the situation yesterday with Tony.  I need to reflect on what that means in terms of the Lectio Divina model.  What do I need to read/hear? (Lectio)  On what do I need to meditate? (Meditatio)  For sure, I need to pray from the heart about this!!  (Oratio)  And lastly, contemplate mindfully about God's work in my heart, soul, and life. (Contemplatio)

“If the world hates you, ^[a]you know that it has hated Me before it hated you." John 15:18
 

 Lord, it is almost an idolatrous goal that we make ourselves likable.  I'm not sure how this works in my Christian life, but this lesson was an unpleasant taste of being misunderstood, judged, and disliked.  And once again, I didn't handle it well.  I will -- no, I cannot say that I will because I can't -- I will submit myself to Your changing me.  That I can, and will, do.  In Jesus's name and by the work of the Holy Spirit~Amen.

Lectio Divina 1

Thursday, February 14: St. Valentine's Day

Interesting development after I decided to take Tony's verbal challenge in silence and submission: We "accidentally" met up in one of the stairwells, and he engaged me in a conversation about a different patient.  (The second patient calls numerous people and leaves long, rambling complaints.  He has called me more than once.  This time he called Tony to complain about me.)

It took a few minutes, but I realized that Tony would never officially apologize to me and that this conversation was his apology.  When this dawned on me, I said to him (approximately, since I don't recall verbatim), "Tony, though we have had animated disagreements, I really like working with you."  To my surprise, he said, "I do, too.  And I encourage and respect thoughtful dissent on my team."  Just what I thought!

So, dear Lord, this is what I "heard" from You on this day.  Isaiah 53:7 captures it:

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
 

You did not have to question Your motives, as I did.  You were, are, and always will be right.  I'm learning!  Even when I am falsely accused, be quietly confident that You know what is happening.  That will lead me to Friday, a somewhat different day.